# 3 - THE OUT LOUD CRY

He's transferred in from operation theatre,

breathing through machine with much effort.

I saw his tears,

I saw his unwillingness to be intubated( breathe on machine),

but I was too busy with other patients.

After 2 hours,

his ECG reading showed asystole (a straight line),

I see no nurses going into his room,

I was wondering whether he's deceased as I was away from ICU and going up and down.

I was right, he's left without my knowledge,

he left without anyone around him,

he's not able to express to anyone that how suffering he was.

The family came very late,

a large crowd of them,

crying so loudly till the room beside also can hear very clearly.

They were asking about the death cause,

they seemed to be very unsatisfied with doctors.

They had delayed so much of time.

I pitied the old patient when I was cleaning his cold and stiff body,

he didn't know how much tears his child has shed for him after his death,

but one fact that is, no one was there with him when he left.

The presence of loved one,

maybe just one person mean so much of difference to a sick one,

so as to a person who is going to leave this world.

If I were one of the family members, I might cry as well,

but it's out of sadness due to loss of a loved one.

Cherishing person next to us seem to be neglected nowadays,

we take each person's existence for granted,

and one day when he or she has left,

then we felt regretted for not talking, not forgiving, not loving enough.

Patients who have no relationship with me,

yet I could do so much for them out of love.

However it's so difficult for me to love some of them around me sometimes.

This patient's family reflected some important message to me,

love as much as I can,

I'm still learning day by day,

as we will never when will our loved one leave.

It sounded negative,

but it's a good lesson to be pondered on...